The Branch Church

Cymbala's Excerpt Of Love - Still Relevant to The Church

“One Sunday about 20 yrs ago, back in our days in the YWCA, I said something impromptu while receiving new members into the church that has stuck with us ever since.  People were standing in a row across the front before me, and as I spoke, the holy spirit seemed to prompt me to add, ‘And now, I charge you, as pastor of this church, that if you ever hear another member speak an unkind word of criticism or slander against anyone – myself, another pastor, an usher, a choir member, or anyone else – you have the authority to stop that person in mid sentence and say, ‘Excuse me - Who hurt you? Who ignored you? Who slighted you? Was it Pastor Cymbala? Let’s go to his office right now. He will get on his knees and apologize, and then we’ll pray together, so God can restore peace to this body.  But we will not let you talk critically about people who are not present to defend themselves.’”

“New members, please understand that I am entirely serious about this.  I want you to help resolve this kind of thing immediately and meanwhile, know this: If you are ever the one doing the loose talking we will confront you.’”

“To this very day, every time we receive new members, I say much the same thing. It is always a solemn moment. That is because I know what most easily destroys churches. It is not crack cocaine. It is not government oppression.   It is not even a lack of funds.  Rather, it is gossip and slander that grieves the Holy Spirit.”

“People nod their heads with understanding, and as a result rumor and busy body talk are kept to a minimum.  We have had to confront a few people along the way, of course, but the general concern to live with clean hearts and clean speech before the Lord prevents many problems from ever getting started.”

“I’ll never talk about you, until I’ve talked to you. Then I’ll only talk for you, and never against you.” – Anonymous

The Little League Temple

    I started playing baseball when I was 7-years-old. I was in the "minors," and played for the Mets. I don't remember much of practice, but I'll always remember my first at bat. I got up to the plate in front of my parents and the rest of the crowd, took my right-handed hitting stance, and stared in the pitcher's direction. The problem? I was in the LEFT-HANDERS batter's box! I heard the crowd laugh. The umpired helped me to my batter's box, and I preceded to strike out.

That moment didn't leave any kind of permanent scar on my psyche, and I turned out to be a pretty good player. I made All-Stars as a starter my last year of "Majors," my only "Junior year," and every year of "Senior" Little League. It was a wild ride from ages 7 to 17 playing baseball, and I will treasure many of those memories.

One of the reasons I think I have fond memories of Little League is because I don't ever remember sacrficing family or church time because of it. Maybe they were the proverbial simpler times, but I distinctly remember my parents making our church and family life the two things that sat highest on the totem pole. I don't remember us having a take it or leave it attitude about baseball, and I made my commitments on time, but there was definitely priority and balance. Fast forward to today. Now, it's me watching my 6-year-old pick up a glove and a bat, whether it's for practice or a game, and beginning his quest toward All-Stardom (or at least at having fun) so that he will build some good memories as well. However...

What I have noticed from a distance before my son officially started playing, and especially now that he is, is how much "emphasis" is placed on Little League. I'm not talking about the kids either, I'm talking about the parents and guardians of the players, as well as the officials who administer the league.

Today's leagues seem to be year-round, week-round, and all around obsessive. One pervasive thought seems to be, "If I dont' get my kid to practice (all 3 this week), work the snack bar, sell the candy bars, do the fundraising, etc., etc., etc., then my kid might have to sit the bench for the game. Another, is the fact that parents are highly comptetive, and want their kids to be. How many instances of parents fighting in the stands (or worse) have we seen in the media over the last decade? There seems to be a certain pride or prestige that comes as a direct result from how "good" your kid is compared to the next kid. (This to me, has satan's grubby hands all over it). Then there is the "what if" factor. What if my kids gets good enough to go pro? Why, that would be like winning the lottery! All of these dynamics and more factor into why such an emphasis is being placed on youth sports. Ultimately, however, like many areas in life, if we are not careful, we will be sorry.

I realize that teaching kids things like community, responsibility, a good work ethic, comradare, healthy competivetiveness, etc. can all be good things. There are, however, valuable life-skills that no amount practice, games, or "kind of sport" variety will be able to teach them, and that I feel/fear are being replaced by youth sports. Without giving a subjective extensive list, I'll just give a subjective two-point list:

1. Emphasizing sports over God, will teach your kids how to priortize God in their life when they get older.  Any sport that you continually show your kids is more important than your time spent in worship, or that you consistently put "over" a healthy regimented church-life schedule, stands a good chance of coming back to haunt you by coming back to hurt them.

By showing them that taking 3 or 4 months "off" from regularly attending church, since it's this season or that season of sports, is a bad move as far as seed-planting in their lives. Spending time showing them that "something else" can easily take up God's time and it's no big deal, will mean that they won't look to God when they need to look for Him later. It means they will look to "something else." Showing them that you can't get up and go to church for 1.5 hours on Sunday, but you can make 3 practices and work the fundraiser for baseball throughout the week, doesn't send a mixed message to your kids, it sends a clear one: God gets the leftovers, if that.

While we're here, I might as well say your kids are also watching as you spend the money to register them for baseball, spend money on supplemental equipment and gear, spend the money for gas to get them there 3-4 times a week, spend the money at the snack bar and pizza party, and their watching when you have little or no money to give to God in worship when the offering plate comes passing by. Our kids are always watching. Even when they don't know they're watching... they are.

2. Emphasizing programs over authentic family relationships, will mean your kids will look to you less (if at all), when they're older and facing the rough storms of life. Andy Stanley talks on this subject a bit in some parenting small-group curriculum I've watched. He notes that as parents, we have a great deal of leverage over our kids from the time they are born, until they become teenagers. Everything from being physically larger, to being the people who control the money factors into that leverage. Obviously, the hope is that we are using that leverage in humility and love, but the fact remains it is there. However, as they get older, the kids stop caring about the leverage as much as they used to. They don't fear the spankings, the groundings, or having the money or car keys withheld. "When this happens," Stanley says, "if you have not built solid personal relationship with your kids - deep and meaningful relationships - you will have no leverage, no influence, and no weight in helping them foster good choices as young adults."

It's scary to think of, but Andy's point is simple: Too many parents are replacing significant and authentic relationships with their kids, by putting in its place program after program after program. Once of his final thoughts on this centers around the fact (not anecdotal bookmark, but fact) that he has never had an adult, or married couple, in his office for counseling who says something like, "Well, my parents never took me to baseball or karate enough." It's usually, "My mom or dad never spent time with me." Which is highly insightful when thinking of the statement: Making sure your kids are on time to all of their games and practices, is not necessarily spending time with them.

Soccer and baseball practice aren't going to teach your kids how to handle the rough years of their marriage. Those programs aren't going to teach them why some of the majorly wrong choices their friends are making are wrong. Only God's word, God's spirit, and God's love working through YOU is going to do that.

I've already been thinking through and putting into practice the fact that our family will not worship at the "Little Leauge Temple." We will be responsble and loving contributors, who are supportive of the team and the league, but we will not be pressured or cornered into placing these things over God or our family. Spending time as a family in the stands watching our kid play ball, or even being on the field during practice working with him and the other kids are all good things. However, they are not substitutes or equivalents to authentic worship and relationship building. Telling your kid you can't make the batting cages trip on Sunday morning because there's no way you're going to miss family time and God time with them, is an infinitely better road to take.