Earlier tonight, I walked into my children’s rooms as they slept. I placed my hand on each one individually and prayed hard to God over them. Tears seemed to come down faster than the words as I asked God to show His mighty hand of favor for their protection, for their purity, and for so many areas of life. As I got to my last child, my oldest daughter, I found myself uttering these words: “Father make her so much like you’ve made her mother, and her grandmother…”
As I rose to leave, I was immediately reminded of these words from the bible. Paul, in writing to his young disciple Timothy tells him, “I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.” 2 Timothy 1:5. This generational godliness is so recognized by Paul – by God – that it is forever etched in our holy scripture. Paul is acknowledging that the shaping of pastor Timothy was a direct result of how God had worked through Lois and Eunice.
These words reminded me of my wife and her mom.
Over the span of years April and I have been in ministry together, I have only rarely stopped to acknowledge to others what an impact April has had on me as a Christian. Seldom am I even conscious of it. However, if I were to die in my sleep tonight, I would wake up in heaven having seen the full effect of how God has used her in showing me His love. I am thankful to God for using her mom, Paula, to raise such a daughter. I am thankful to God for blessing me with my wife, April.
Here are just a few ways I am thankful for her.
April is the godliest woman I have ever known. We are all human, and therefore we are all constant evaluators of people and their impact on us. Even shortly after we were married, I never thought anyone would surpass my mother in my eyes for the “godliest woman” title. I can’t pinpoint exactly when it happened, but April has risen to the top. I know it’s not nor was ever a contest, but I literally marvel at the memories I have of April and her love for Jesus. I can say without arrogance or pride that I see a trueness in my wife’s relationship with Jesus that I hope to have someday. I can’t remember a single season in our 12 and ½ year marriage where it seemed like April couldn’t find God. She is always with Him. She loves Him more than me, which makes her able to love me in ways I don’t deserve to be loved…the ways He loves me. Her bible is beat up and marked up the way a schoolgirl (or boy) would treat a love letter from his or her biggest crush. It has been read over and over. The notes to herself in the margins seem to be the very whispers from God that she heard while she was reading. She doesn’t want to forget her intimacy. April most often speaks God’s love to me without ever saying a word.
April is a godly wife and mom. She told me while we were dating that her highest aspirations were to be a wife and a mom. I didn’t quite “get it” then, but I get to marvel at it now. I really don’t have the words to describe the kind of wife she is. It was only this week that she had found a moment to leave a short love note on my windshield at work – and that after 12 years of marriage! She’s genuinely glad to see me when I come home, and sincerely open to spending time with me whenever that may be. I could be running to put gas in my car and ask her if she wants to come, and she will. She supports me and builds me up. She doesn’t even ask me to do much. She packs me a lunch every day. She does my laundry. She irons my clothes. She serves me breakfast, or lunch, or dinner the same way she did in the first 2 years of marriage – and that after 12 years of marriage! When I see my children interacting with her I know that she has succeeded in both parts of her calling to be a godly wife and mom. When any of our kids need her and aren’t sure where she is, I hear the slight panic in their voices. She looks at our fourth baby with the same tenderness as she looked at our first. She holds each one of them whenever they need or want to be held and smothers them with kisses that they receive as rewards. I don’t stop and stare enough, and she probably never catches me doing it, but I will stop and stare at how she builds them up through teaching, and mentoring, and discipling, and especially through laughing. I quoted Chuck Swindoll this week when he said, “It is often just as sacred to laugh as it is to pray.” Knowingly or not, April understands this, and has an ample supply to use in the raising of our kids. I’ve always loved to hear my wife’s laugh, and I still do to this day.
April is humble and meek. My wife would be the first to tell you she’s not perfect. In fact, I’m sure when she reads this, she’ll say something like, “I wish I were all those things.” She has temptations and sins just like you and I and planet Earth, but she lives a life that totally agrees with the Apostle Paul again when he said, “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” Philippians 3:13. She’s shyer than most people think. In fact, I can say with certainty that satan has worked masterfully at exploiting my wife’s shyness around other women. Some have taken it the wrong way over the years. Some have had expectations of a “Pastor’s Wife,” but they don’t realize a pastor’s wife is just that: his wife. Her spiritual contract with the Lord is in coming alongside me, not running multiple ministries and taking a dozen ladies to lunch each week. It bothers – no – saddens me that some women have missed out on knowing April because they wanted her to meet a job description God never gave her. What I know is that April loves her sisters in Christ. She prays for them. Cries for them, and would give them the last dollar in her pocket. She is the biggest human advocate for women, and how they deserve to be treated and loved that I have ever met. April is glad our daughter now has a baby sister. She wants her to be able to have that bond that girls who grow into women together have. She may not even realize it, but she is grateful that her daughters will be able to impact other women for Jesus on a greater scale than she feels she has. My wife is meek, so she is blessed. My wife doesn’t ask for jewelry or clothes or cars or even a house. I can honestly say I can’t remember the last time I heard her ask for anything for herself, and that’s not an exaggeration. Last month, I set up an appointment for her to get a massage at a day spa. Her first reaction was to try and get me to take the appointment for my back pain. I knew her back was hurting too from all the care for our newborn, but she tried and tried to get me to “not waste” the money on her. That’s who my wife is all the time. It’s real. It’s contagious. It pleases Jesus.
So, if you’ve hung with me this long, I’m just going to ask that you go a second mile and join me in praying for my wife. From the world’s tangible economy, she could have married anyone. She could have done well. Like I said, I don’t have the words, but I can only think that “her place” in heaven, the big one in the cul-de-sac, the one where Ruth and Esther and Mary and Jesus often hang out as He is preparing it, that will be a place we’ll want to visit too.
To God be the glory for all things.
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